a ballad for the gallows

how often does it seem that the only life invested in living is the outcome of death as a retirement bed. so many preachers so many hard thinkers only to be thought of a mire image of themselves. if time was the key and you were the door, how do you manage to make an impact on the lives you have lived for? why so much destruction? why so much evil? anger? not to mention all of the peace makers? it seems that all we have ever learned from life is survival. for most of us our basic needs of survival relied on someone else with their hands tied. do you ever look in a story just to see the ending become glory? how all luck and skill and love payed out in the beginning from above? i cant tell you that ive really talked to people that were wishing a hand out. i just look at myself and divide it by few, or look at myself and multiplied a few. its simple when we say that mankind isnt doing so great. and its even simpler to say that we will change some day.

from myself i just take it in. sometimes there isnt enough power to breathe it all in. most of our lungs have collapsed when we tried running from the sun. still the rain clouds our ways of thinking. from right or wrong. but i know it just takes some heart and little bit of love. and maybe a million to one, to overcome our chances of leaving one person with a gun.

because ive given up fighting. and im sure death is tired from working overtime. and if God has a plan then i will not interfere. i would much rather relax and let the wheel steer for itself. instead of holding it all in with one breath, ill let it go and let it swim in a stream. to someday maybe soon i will be buried underneath. as long as the world knows that i havent made a difference in this life, but they have made a difference in me. maybe it doesnt take a million to one. but one to a million that if out of a million, one survives, it took just one to realize, that time is running out. as for the fighting, its never really worth it only to be wasted. its easy to be a bad guy. thats what ive learned. but ive never learned how to be a good guy. i just wish by now i would've. but luckily for me there is still time. there is still time. and that key is still in my hand. and for death? well... i cant promise anything, but i just imagine that he is my shadow. and ill be honest. fear has stopped me from living. at least now i know what to live for.